PSALM 2009
Obama is the shepherd I did not want.
He leadeth me beside the still factories.
He restoreth my faith in the Republican party.
He guideth me in the path of unemployment for his party's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the bread line,
I shall fear no hunger, for his bailouts are with me.
He has anointed my income with taxes,
My expenses runneth over.
Surely, poverty and hard living will follow me all the days of my life,
And I will live in a mortgaged home forever.
I am glad I am American,
I am glad that I am free.
But I wish I was a dog,
And Obama was a tree.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Saturday, August 21, 2010
KNOW THE SYMPOTMS...PLEASE READ!
KNOW THE SYMPTOMS.....PLEASE READ!
Thank goodness there's a name for this disorder. Somehow I feel better even
though I have it!!
Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. - Age Activated Attention Deficit
Disorder This is how it manifests:
I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over
at my car and decide it needs washing.
As I start toward the garage, I notice mail on the porch table that I brought up
from the mail box earlier.
I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.
I lay my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the
table, and notice that the can is full. So, I decide to put the bills back on
the table and take out the garbage first.
But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the
garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.
I take my check book off the table, and see that there is only one check left.
My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk
where I find the can of Pepsi I'd been drinking.
I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Pepsi aside so
that I don't accidentally knock it over.
The Pepsi is getting warm, and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it
cold.
As I head toward the kitchen with the Pepsi, a vase of flowers on the counter
catches my eye--they need water.
I put the Pepsi on the counter and discover my reading glasses that I've been
searching for all morning.
I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the
flowers.
I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and
suddenly spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table.
I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I'll be looking for the remote,
but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back
in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.
I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.
So, I set the remote back on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.
Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.
At the end of the day: the car isn't washed the bills aren't paid there's a warm
can of Pepsi sitting on the counter the flowers don't have enough water, there's
still only 1 check in my check book, I can't find the remote, I can't find my
glasses, and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.
Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled
because I know I was busy all day, and I'm really tired.
I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but
first I'll check my e-mail....
Do me a favor. Forward this message to everyone you know, because I don't
remember who I've sent it to.
Don't laugh...if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!!
Thank goodness there's a name for this disorder. Somehow I feel better even
though I have it!!
Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. - Age Activated Attention Deficit
Disorder This is how it manifests:
I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over
at my car and decide it needs washing.
As I start toward the garage, I notice mail on the porch table that I brought up
from the mail box earlier.
I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.
I lay my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the
table, and notice that the can is full. So, I decide to put the bills back on
the table and take out the garbage first.
But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the
garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.
I take my check book off the table, and see that there is only one check left.
My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk
where I find the can of Pepsi I'd been drinking.
I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Pepsi aside so
that I don't accidentally knock it over.
The Pepsi is getting warm, and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it
cold.
As I head toward the kitchen with the Pepsi, a vase of flowers on the counter
catches my eye--they need water.
I put the Pepsi on the counter and discover my reading glasses that I've been
searching for all morning.
I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the
flowers.
I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and
suddenly spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table.
I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I'll be looking for the remote,
but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back
in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.
I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.
So, I set the remote back on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.
Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.
At the end of the day: the car isn't washed the bills aren't paid there's a warm
can of Pepsi sitting on the counter the flowers don't have enough water, there's
still only 1 check in my check book, I can't find the remote, I can't find my
glasses, and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.
Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled
because I know I was busy all day, and I'm really tired.
I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but
first I'll check my e-mail....
Do me a favor. Forward this message to everyone you know, because I don't
remember who I've sent it to.
Don't laugh...if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!!
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Black Hurricanes
Black hurricanes....
Well, it appears our African-American friends have found yet something else to be pissed about. A black congresswoman (this would be Sheila Jackson Lee, of Houston), reportedly complained that the names of hurricanes are all Caucasian-sounding names. She would prefer some names that reflect African-American culture, such as Chamiqua, Tanisha, Woeisha, Shaqueal, and Jamal. I am NOT making this up!
She would also like the weather reports to be broadcast in 'language' that street people can understand because one of the problems that happened in New Orleans was, that black people couldn't understand the seriousness of the situation, due to the racially biased language of the weather report (are we living in America???).
I guess if the weather person says that the winds are going to blow at 140+ MPH, that's too hard
to understand.
I can hear it now: A weatherman in New Orleans says... Wazzup, mutha-fukkas! Hehr-i-cane Chamiqua be headin' fo' yo ass like Leroy on a crotch rocket! Bitch be a category fo'! So, turn off dem chitlins, grab yo' chirren, leave yo crib, and head fo' de nearest FEMA office fo yo FREE shit!
Well, it appears our African-American friends have found yet something else to be pissed about. A black congresswoman (this would be Sheila Jackson Lee, of Houston), reportedly complained that the names of hurricanes are all Caucasian-sounding names. She would prefer some names that reflect African-American culture, such as Chamiqua, Tanisha, Woeisha, Shaqueal, and Jamal. I am NOT making this up!
She would also like the weather reports to be broadcast in 'language' that street people can understand because one of the problems that happened in New Orleans was, that black people couldn't understand the seriousness of the situation, due to the racially biased language of the weather report (are we living in America???).
I guess if the weather person says that the winds are going to blow at 140+ MPH, that's too hard
to understand.
I can hear it now: A weatherman in New Orleans says... Wazzup, mutha-fukkas! Hehr-i-cane Chamiqua be headin' fo' yo ass like Leroy on a crotch rocket! Bitch be a category fo'! So, turn off dem chitlins, grab yo' chirren, leave yo crib, and head fo' de nearest FEMA office fo yo FREE shit!
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